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This blog is about two friends, miles apart, striving to pattern our lives after the Proverbs 31 woman. Here you will find our daily journeys, whether serious, funny, practical, or inventive. Thanks for stopping by and we hope you'll stop by often!

~Lauren & Page

Monday, October 25, 2010

Dealing With Offenses

Psalm 119:165 "Great peace have they which love Thy law: and nothing shall offend them."


Do any of you ever struggle with being offended?

Lauren & I picked this as our first verse to memorize together, and this week--it has been quite necessary for us both!

The Bible talks A LOT about love and forgiveness. Christ was the ultimate example of love and forgiveness. And in our endeavor to be more Christ-like, we are called to to do the same!!

Trust me, this is not always easy (or maybe it's never easy)--but that does not change the fact that it is what we are supposed to do!

Zechariah 8:16-17 "These are the things that ye shall do; Speak ye every man the truth to his neighbour; execute the judgment of truth and peace in your gates: And let none of you imagine evil in your hearts against his neighbour; and love no false oath: for all these are things that I hate, saith the LORD."


1 John 4:7-8 "Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love."


Galatians 5:13-15 "For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty (or freedom); only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another. For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; "Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself". But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another."

Ephesians 4:29 "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers."

Philippians 2:3-4 "Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others."

And, I guess this one sums up the purpose of the post perfectly:

Philippians 1:9-11 "And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and in all judgment; That ye may approve things that are excellent; that ye may be sincere and without offence till the day of Christ. Being filled with the fruits of righteousness, which are by Jesus Christ, unto the glory and praise of God."

We all try to justify our actions, especially when we are mad or upset--but read the above verses! None of them say, "unless they were really ugly to you--then it's ok" or "if your hormones are so wack, you just can't help yourself". Trust me, I've been there... : )

Remember,

1 John 4:20-21 "If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen? And this commandment have we from Him, That he who loveth God love his brother also."


How guilty am I of not loving "my brother". And how dare I? Jesus gave Himself for me, and yet I get wrapped up in silly resentments and animosity.

John 3:16-17 "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through Him might be saved."


To be truly Christ-like, a true Christian, I must reflect His principles and His laws--and that includes in my offenses!

How different would our families, and even our churches, be if Jesus Christ and His command: "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself" Luke 10:27 was our first and foremost thought in every situation?

So, today, let's resolve to do as He says! "Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise." Luke 10:37 !!

~Page

12 comments:

  1. hi exactly how did you deal with your situation, and if i may ask what was the situation. I have had some problems in this area myself and am interested.

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  2. Great post Page! Definitely something we all have to deal with. Something I even prayed about this morning. Letting go of some past hurts from Christian friends. The hurts keep resurfacing. When they do,I go to my knees. S.

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  3. Anon: “hi exactly how did you deal with your situation, and if i may ask what was the situation. I have had some problems in this area myself and am interested.”

    AP31: Dealing with ANY offensive situation is never easy. There are a few things that must be in check when this occurs:

    1-Are you walking close to the Lord—reading His word and praying without ceasing?

    Matt 22:37-38 “Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment.”

    You must have your walk with Him in check to be properly directed in these moments. He’ll give you the right perspective, the right verse, the right heart attitude.

    2-Have you forgiven those that have offended you?

    Mark 11:25-26 “And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.”

    Jesus forgives us of all of our sins—and we are to do the same for others. Remember all that Jesus has done for us—regardless of all the wrong and evil things we do! We are a sinful people, and without His forgiveness—we would all be hell bound! And, with that great sacrifice and love toward us—how can we not be ever so grateful and extend that same love and forgiveness to others?

    3-Do you love your neighbor?

    Matt 22:39 “And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.”

    A true, Christ-like love for those who offend, keeps us from “imagine[ing] evil in your hearts against his neighbour” as mentioned above in the post.

    Remember, the Bible says

    1 Corinthians 10:13 “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”

    This is also in dealing with offense situations! We do not have to succumb to evil thoughts or wrong doing toward others—because God will give us “a way to escape”. But, we must be close to Him, and walking with Him, in order to know that way!

    I hope this helps you, Anon. I know it’s tough to forgive. We have all had hard, sad, and even terrible happenings in our lives that make it seem impossible. We even think no one else can understand. But God does. And that’s what it is all about—an eternal focus and perspective. Focus on Him. Walk with Him. Pray to Him. Love Him. That is what we are about. Anything else only takes away from His greatness, power, might, and awesomeness in us!

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  4. I am aware of the forgiveness factor. That has been a major part of my trouble. To an extent. How the gossip of individuals to others and the lack of feeling to the person that they are hurting and don't even realize it makes it more difficult to forgive. Especially when the other party seeminly never says sorry or ever does wrong. How do you deal with this person and what situation would preclude you from such. Again thank you for your valid and prompt response. sincerely Anon

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  5. Anon: “I am aware of the forgiveness factor. That has been a major part of my trouble. To an extent. How the gossip of individuals to others and the lack of feeling to the person that they are hurting and don't even realize it makes it more difficult to forgive. Especially when the other party seeminly never says sorry or ever does wrong.”

    AP31: I think we’ve all been there—when we feel like someone owes us the apology before we offer forgiveness… But, that is not what we’re supposed to do.

    Matthew 5:44-45 “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.”

    Also, read here: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2018:21-35&version=KJV

    We are to forgive, limitlessly—just as our Father in heaven does for us!

    Also, remember, Romans 3:9-10 “What then? Are we better than they? No, in no wise: for we have before proved…that they are all under sin; As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one”

    No one is perfect and never does wrong. We are all sinful humans—you, I, and our offenders. To see them any other way is wrong.

    Our time should not be spent dwelling on the things of others. (Remember Zech 8:16-17 from the post) We are to dwell on Him! Remember, the more you are thinking on the things of this earth (whether it be offenses, our pasts, others, or even our busy schedules), the less you are thinking about Him!

    Philippians 3:13-14 “Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.”

    Anon, let’s forget those “things which are behind”—and reach for God! The Almighty—who brought everything about, who controls it all, and loves us more than we can possibly comprehend! Amen! : ) We have to let go, and let God.

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  6. Anon: “How do you deal with this person and what situation would preclude you from such. Again thank you for your valid and prompt response. sincerely Anon”

    AP31: Matthew 5:23-24 “Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.”

    Anon, I don’t ever want to give the impression that I have this all figured out—or that I always forgive correctly. (Please see above verse from Romans 3) Trust me, I don’t. But it is my goal—I am striving to forgive properly in every situation. I have to pray, read His Word, pray, read His Word, and did I mention praying and reading His Word? : ) These things must be constant in my life—even memorizing the verses pertinent to forgiveness so I can recall them quickly when offense situations occur.

    Also, there is no time when it’s acceptable to not forgive the offending party. Read the above Mat 5:23-24—we’ve got to deal with these offenses first! One possible way of handling this, which I practice is from Matthew 18:15-19.

    First, go to that person in private—and talk with them. Pray a lot before you go to them—read the verses about forgiveness and love from our Lord and Savior. Going to this person must be done with true, Christ-like love, forgiveness, and humility. We are all sinners, and we must stay away from any prideful thinking. A regular verse I keep in mind is, Romans 12:3 “For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.”

    I am no better than anyone else. Proverbs 16:17-19 “The highway of the upright is to depart from evil: he that keepeth his way preserveth his soul. Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall. Better it is to be of an humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud.” I have to pray about this a lot.

    Also, don’t argue with the offender, or point fingers at them—we wouldn’t want anyone to come at us like that if we had offended them!! : )

    The process later says to take a true, Christian friend with you to speak with the offender—but only after you have tried in private first.

    Colossians 3:13 “Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.”

    We must forgive. We must. Always. No matter how hard it is. We must. We are no more right than the offender, if we choose not to forgive them.

    1 John 1:10 ”If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.” We are all sinners. Every one of us. We all deserve hell.

    1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” But God forgives us, faithfully. And we must faithfully forgive others.

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  7. AP31: Anon, I hope this helps you. I can tell you it has helped me! I need these reminders regularly myself! I’ll pray for you. This is never an easy process. But, with God, all things are possible!

    Thinking of you in Christ,

    ~Page

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  8. Thanks for your information anon

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  9. Just crusin through and thought to drop a line. It sounds to me like youve got it all figured out. I wonder if you have bothered to win anyone to Christ this year or if you do the menail task around your church if you attend, some do home church, or if you let everyone else do that while you are so spiritual.

    Crusin Through

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  10. Crusin Through: “Just crusin through and thought to drop a line. It sounds to me like youve got it all figured out. I wonder if you have bothered to win anyone to Christ this year or if you do the menail task around your church if you attend, some do home church, or if you let everyone else do that while you are so spiritual. 

Crusin Through”

    AP31: Cruisin Through, I made sure to point out in my previous comments that I don’t have it all figured out. Far from it. I am no where near perfect, nor will I ever be till I reach those pearly gates! : )

    Romans 3:23 “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.”

    And, no—I haven’t won anyone to Christ this year, or any year—ONLY Christ does that!

    John 14:6 "Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by Me."

    I do attend my church, and I do have responsibilities there—but I must point out,

    Ephesians 2:4-9 “But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;) And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus: That in the ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus. For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.”

    My “works” don’t make me spiritual. And, “our works” should never cultivate any pride in us, because it’s not us! Everything is through Him!! For Him!! By Him!!

    Romans 11:36 “For of Him, and through Him, and to Him, are all things: to whom be glory for ever. Amen.”

    Acts 17:27-29 “That they should seek the Lord, if haply they might feel after Him, and find Him, though He be not far from every one of us: For in Him we live, and move, and have our being”

    All that matters is that I am pursuing His Will for my life and following His guidance.

    Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths”

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  11. I am trying to follow after Christ, trying to be more like Him, and learning to love Him more and more!

    Psalm 48:14 “For this God is our God for ever and ever: he will be our guide even unto death.”

    Psalm 37:4-7 “Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday. Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him”

    Isaiah 48:17 “Thus saith the LORD, thy Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel; I am the LORD thy God which teacheth thee to profit, which leadeth thee by the way that thou shouldest go.”

    And, there is no menial task in the church.

    Romans 12:3-6 “For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith. For as we have many members in one body, and all members have not the same office: So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another. Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us”

    I am so grateful that the Lord has a special place for each member of the body in His church! : D

    All I want, and ever want to express in any post and comment is not that “I’ve got it all figured out”—but that I am striving after Him, learning to love Him, and wanting to be more like Him.

    Hebrews 11:6 “But without faith it is impossible to please Him: for he that cometh to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him.”

    God is so amazing! He saved me from the depths of hell—and I am so thankful! Thank you, Lord!

    And in conclusion,

    Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil”

    Romans 15:13 “Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.”

    Prayerfully thinking of you in Christ,

    ~Page

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  12. Wow, this is something I strive and strive to learn each and every day. Thank you so much Page for this great learning opportunity. Like you quoted above Proverbs 3:5,6 I often try to understand why people do things they do, but as the verses say we just have to trust the Lord. He will lead us in the perfect path for our lives. Trying to understand why people will offend me will just lead me astray from God giving stain the opportunity to sneak in and ruin my testimony even more. I know often times even before I got saved people who offended me were usually right in some way and form. I usually let my pride get the best of me. Thou I may never understand why or how people can be so mean or even be offensive to me; I do know that if I just give it to God it will not offend me. By giving it to God I will have the greatest peace a person can have from God. That’s all I want is great peace because Jesus had that through his time here on earth……..Its funny how Jesus never got offended but because he spoke the truth all the elders, scribes, Pharisees and priests were offended so badly that they hated Jesus Christ for the truth. I know by having this great peace I can do glorious works for God in my life. I know it is hard to focus on myself because I often don’t see the wrong in what I do. But I know if I just focus on me and keep focus on what I can learn and do better that is the only way God will bless me. That is what I strive to do the most is to have great peace because am one with Christ if I do! Thou I will never be perfect and I am always reminded that I will make many mistakes in life because I am human…..God is perfect and he will never make a mistake for my life! Thanks again for this great learning experience! It was such a blessing.

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